Nekotalia Diaries
by LadyOfThePens
Summary: The Nekotalia cats are letting you have a look in their diaries. Doesn't sound like much fun? Well, the life of a cat might be more exiting than you think.
1. Diary of an Awesome Cat

**Haha~ I had this weird idea in school taoday; and i'm sharing it with the world, just because I can. **

**Yes, this is Nekotalia. No, I do not own it, nor Hetalia, nor Nyotalia, nor anything else related to Hetalia.**

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**Diary of an Awesome Cat**

Day 952 of being a prisoner.

I was awesome today as well, despite the whole being a prisoner-situation. That Hungarian cat visited; and _man _is she annoying.

Other than that; I have made a shocking discovery. The dogs are being let out on a regular basis; but they still keep returning to this unawesome place. They're obviously retarded. How unawesome having to share your home with a bunch of retarded dogs… Und I also realised that the bird living here must be a spy; because he keeps talking to our captators, but mostly with the slightly more awesome one. He's still not as awesome as me; no one is.

Yesterday, they had a visitor, but I wasn't allowed to meet him. I don't care; being alone is _way _too much fun. Apparently, I was locked in another room because of my mystical, hopefully awesome, powers of causing something called _allergy_. I must learn all about it, so that I can use it for my own awesome gains.

In an attempt to scare the two humans, I put the severed, decapitated body of a mouse on their kitchen floor. The attack was met with praise, such as; "Kesesese. My cat is more awesome than yours, West."

This led me to the conclusion that they are either stupid, or scared beyond wits.

I also attempted to kill them by pressing myself against their legs with all my force, in order to trip them. Next time, I'll try it at the top of the stairs…

Also; I ate another plant. This gave me some attention. It also caused my unawesome brother to hit me, violently. For some strange reason, living here doesn't seem very appalling to him. I bet it's that Italian tabby that's always hanging around him… How unawesome…

I have to remember to cough up another hairball in their beds, seeing how awesomely girly they screamed last time. Although, I should remember that hairballs are more efficient on places they wouldn't expect. What about the large, white box where they hide all their awesome human-food? _That_ would be unexpected. Awesome.

Just you wait. I'll get out of here some day. I'm too awesome not to.

Just you wait.

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**Yay? Well, anyway, I'll upload Germousers chapter soon. This was fun, so I'll probably keep writing it, no matter what. **

**Reviews would be nice, though...**


	2. Germouser

**And this is where this contines. Seriously; this is surprisingly fun. This is also where I've started naming the cats. Gino is Itabby. Koi is Nihon-neko.**

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Dear Diary.

**6.00**

When I woke up this morning; Gino was sleeping next to me, for some reason. As usual he was taking up a lot of space, and he talks in his sleep. I was going to wake him up; but then I remembered what he acts like when he gets woken up, und decided to let him sleep.

**8.00**

Gino finally woke up. He immediately started bugging me about pasta, und he was making it very clear that he wouldn't shut up if he didn't get any. Just to get him to shut up; I took him to my human, who was having the same problem with Gino's human. Those two idiots are way to alike… I also found mein Bruder attempting to eat his human's bird. Luckily; I stopped him. If he had eaten it his human would probably be very upset.

**9.00**

Gino and his human has succeeded in making their pasta, turning my human's kitchen into a complete mess. Mein Bruder gladly helped them by placing a dead mouse on the floor. Sometimes, I wonder what's going on in that cat's head.

**11.00**

Somehow, a bucket fell out of the sky while our human's were training. Despite the odds, it managed to hit Gino in the head, resulting in a lot of loud crying and complaining. He wouldn't stop until I kissed it better. I doubt it actually helps, though.

**15.00**

Gino decided that it was time for siesta; and that Koi and myself should join him. Koi refused, saying he didn't wish to sleep with another male. I agreed to it, though, since it was time for mein nap anyway. That I started taking those naps when I first met Gino should be overlooked…

**18.00**

Once .again; I found myself in a situation when I don't understand any of my friends. For some reason; Gino had figured that Koi and myself didn't want to be his friends anymore, and so he made an effort to make us like him again. Sadly, that effort was supported by that French cat… Let's just say it was very surprising; and not too pleasant. Koi was very offended. I had to explain to him that Gino didn't mean to be offensive. Still, I'm not sure he is forgiven quite yet.

**21.00**

Despite writing this journal to try and understand Gino; I still haven't got him figured out…

Perhaps tomorrow will work out better. Although, this _is _the sixteenth day I do this.

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**As I said, reviews would be very appreciated. Now I'll keep writing while watching Eurovision Song Contest. As soon as is starts, that is...**


	3. Ciao It's Itabby

**Thusly, I've continued by writing Itabby. And by naming more of the cats. Can you guess wich they are?**

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Ciao, my name is Gino.

I'm writing this because Vilhelm told me to stop bothering him all the time. Since he's always writing a diary like this, I thought I should give it a try. I don't really know what I'm supposed to write… I'll go ask Vilhelm! He's really clever; so he knows what I should write.

Ve~ Vilhelm just told me to stop bothering him when he's trying to get some work done. But Koi told me that I should write about what my day was like. I really like Koi; he's very nice to people all the time. But he eats a lot of strange things. But Vilhelm does, too. His brother does as well. Ve~

Vilhelm let me sleep in his bed tonight. Isn't that nice of him? Of course, he complained a bit, like always, but then he just went with it. But after that, he got mad at me for wanting to eat pasta. I don't get it… Pasta is so delicious. So he took me to my human. My human likes pasta, too.

After lunch mio fratello came to visit me. But he got really angry at Vilhelm, and started yelling at him again. He always yells at Vilhelm… That's not very nice of him. I think he should spend more time with Hector. He could learn a lot about niceness from him.

At siesta; I had a horrible nightmare where Vilhelm and Koi wouldn't be my friends anymore. It was really scary. Last time I had that dream, I didn't know what to do, so I asked big brother Tolouse what I should do. His advice only made things worse. So today; I decided I should ask fratello what I should do. He told me to "dump those bastards and make friends with someone else." I'm so confused, ve~

Vilhelm says I can bother him again now, if I want to. So now I can stop doing this. I hope we can get some pasta, or flirt with pretty females. Yay~!


	4. The Diary of a Trés Bien Cat

**Haha! I'm keeping on writing these forever! Or perhaps not forever... But for a while more. Live with it. Someone named his cat after his favourite wizard... **

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Today, too, was supposed to be simply splendid. Of course; every day with me in should be; I'm simply magnificent, non? Of course I am; no doubt about that.

I went to visit chér Albus today. Oui, I know very well how much he hates it when I drop in without warning, but it is so much more fun than to tell him I'm coming over. His face when I do is trés amusing. Of course, his human is always quite surprised too…

Usually Albus' human calls my human to collect me, but not today. My human was already busy terrorising his friends; so I could stay. Since I come from the land of l'amour, I decided to try to make dear Albus a little more… agreeable.

But non. He was being bitchy as always. So, instead, I decided to release my frustration at his human. Although my plans didn't really work, the plans were still pretty amazing. I'll tell them to you~

**Plan un:**

I shall attempt to kill the bitchy Britt by pushing him into the well. If I apply the proper amount of force to jumping quite violently on his back, he should fall inside the well.

Somehow, I misjudged my leap, and ended up falling into the well myself. Not very pleasant at all…

**Plan deux:**

By spending some time to catch un rat and then place it in the Britt's sock drawer, I will freak him out to a degree where he faints out of fear.

Turns out the drawer was locked. I am now wondering what kind of person would put a lock on his sock drawer. Then again; Albus' human is a little strange, always talking to a lot of strange magical things. Just because you can see them, you shouldn't talk to them. I should probably inform Albus about that, too…

**Plan trois:**

At this point; there was really only one thing to do. I had to go get mon homme. He knows how to distract Albus' human. But there's one problem… There is an obstacle I am not very willing to pass. Namely; water. Ugh. Just the thought makes me shiver with cold.

So that won't work, either. Water is _far _past what I'll do to get Albus to be less of a bitch. Whatever. I'll just go bother that handsome Austrian cat instead~

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**Next chapter will be chér Iggy-cat. *cheering***


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